Collected 'Dumb Tech Support' Stories.
Computer Stupidities By Topic
'Stupid Tech' stories.
Some of these are old, but still funny.
While looking into DSL, I came across a number for a large service provider and called to get details. When the tech support person got up to the speed of the connection, she said:
* Tech Support: "1.54mbit up/down."
* Me: (after some calculations) "Hmmm. That's about 173KB/sec, right?"
* Tech Support: (pause; sound of typing) "No, that's 1.54MB/sec."
* Me: "No, that's the speed in bits per second. I wondered what it was in bytes per second."
* Tech Support: (pause) "No, it's 1.54MB/sec."
* Me: "No, 8 bits equals 1 byte--"
* Tech Support: "No, bits and bytes are the same thing!"
* Me: "Um, that's not true. That's why a 56K modem is a 56kbit modem that usually gets 5 KB/sec transfer rates."
* Tech Support: "Well that's because people take out the dot when they say it. It's actually 5.6kbit or 5.6kbyte. The .6kbyte is just lost in the connection."
I had just bought a new laser printer in the US when I received a very good job offer for the summer in Europe. So I called the printer manufacturer's help desk to find out if I could use the printer in Europe with 220 volts, or if they had a low cost transformer.
* Me: "Hello, I have just bought your new (printer model), and I was wondering if I can use it in Europe with 220 volts?"
* Tech Support: "Hmmm...let me see.... Here, ok, it says that the printer works with 120 volts, so 220 volts should be enough."
* Me: "What?! If it is made only for 120 volts, and I hook it up to 220 volts, it's going to fry."
* Tech Support: "Hmmm. You may need a surge protector."
And this classic for those Xplornet customers that hate having 45 minutes of their valuable time wasted for what is a system problem......
He was convinced the problem was with our dial-up connection, but as soon as I got on the phone I suggested the server was down and asked if he could check it with someone. He refused and we spent the next forty minutes trying various things on our machine to get the connection working. Finally I stopped him:
* Me: "Look, I'm a technical consultant who tells other ISP's how to set up their services. I was a founder member of the largest ISP in the UK, I think I know the difference between your server being down and a probem with my machine."
* Tech Support: "I've set up two ISPs myself, I know what I'm doing, sir."
* Me: "You may well have set two ISPs up, but your server is currently down. Can I speak to your supervisor? I don't have time to waste checking things I know aren't wrong."
* Tech Support: "Hang on a second -- I'll just check something." (pause) "It looks like our server is down."
* Me: "I told you that 45 minutes ago. Why didn't you check that when I first asked -- we could have both saved ourselves a heck of a lot of time."
* Tech Support: "Well, we have to go through this procedure of checking the caller's machine."